You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
