do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
