Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize