So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Holy sore nipples Batman
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
