where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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