oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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