I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
