so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
