Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
