Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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