Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
