I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
