Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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