they need to just BURY HIM!
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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