just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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