I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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