tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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