Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
