If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize