I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
