i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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