i may or may not be watching the land before time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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