Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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