I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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