I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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