So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish you could order shots online.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just found puke in my bra..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
