So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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