Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
