I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
