You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
