I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
