wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
