but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
