It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i will never coherently bang her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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