dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
sex in a hospital.. check
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
