her vagine was all disorganized.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
