Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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