Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
