He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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