it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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