He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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