i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
