Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Couch. On fire.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
