Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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