Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
