I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
