You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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