You made me cry and you don't even care
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I bet he comes in French.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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