You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
