I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
