worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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