Don't make out with my wife yet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
